Dear Carolina, I am very sorry to miss your class today. Both I, Han, and Mandana are in the studio that is going to Venice today, so we are running around like chicken with our heads cut off. I am attaching part of my rough draft in progress. Feel free to comment, or I can wait until next week. best,
Thank you for posting your work. Please take note that this assignment is due next week. You can see / read some of the specifics of what I am after in this blog under "autobiographical / essay: due next week" posted on sept.30th.
that being said, here's my feedback for "crickets" — i like the text at the beginning "the night hides" — because the piece is mostly dark the sound plays a crucial role, consider adding more sound textures: perhaps different voices that evoke sensations or thoughts that emerge at night. This will add body to your work and give it a sense of our night psychology; for instance: our desires, fears, sensuality, transgressions, secrets etc...
— I'd add more /different night landscapes, again to make the piece more textural and visually encompassing.
— i like the aesthetic you are pursuing, that is, of showing what is not seen.
— there was a scene from your previous video that stayed with me, that in which you encountered a dialogue limit with your father. That was quite compelling and in my view points to what you are addressing in this work: pointing to an inaccessibility. perhaps you can include a reference to that here — as a whisper voice over, or text —.
— you can also explore different camera shots that unveil different aspects of night, for instance: you now have landscape shots; how about intercutting those with close ups of activities we normally don't pay attention to at night? eg: a close up of leaves moving in the wind...what atmospheric conditions define "night" as such?
hope this helps wishing you a great stay in venice feel free to post your work here for feedback before wednesday, i look forward to your work
Dear Carolina,
ReplyDeleteI am very sorry to miss your class today. Both I, Han, and Mandana are in the studio that is going to Venice today, so we are running around like chicken with our heads cut off. I am attaching part of my rough draft in progress. Feel free to comment, or I can wait until next week.
best,
Han
HI Han,
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting your work. Please take note that this assignment is due next week. You can see / read some of the specifics of what I am after in this blog under "autobiographical / essay: due next week" posted on sept.30th.
that being said, here's my feedback for "crickets"
— i like the text at the beginning "the night hides"
— because the piece is mostly dark the sound plays a crucial role, consider adding more sound textures: perhaps different voices that evoke sensations or thoughts that emerge at night. This will add body to your work and give it a sense of our night psychology; for instance: our desires, fears, sensuality, transgressions, secrets etc...
— I'd add more /different night landscapes, again to make the piece more textural and visually encompassing.
— i like the aesthetic you are pursuing, that is, of showing what is not seen.
— there was a scene from your previous video that stayed with me, that in which you encountered a dialogue limit with your father. That was quite compelling and in my view points to what you are addressing in this work: pointing to an inaccessibility. perhaps you can include a reference to that here — as a whisper voice over, or text —.
— you can also explore different camera shots that unveil different aspects of night, for instance: you now have landscape shots; how about intercutting those with close ups of activities we normally don't pay attention to at night? eg: a close up of leaves moving in the wind...what atmospheric conditions define "night" as such?
hope this helps
wishing you a great stay in venice
feel free to post your work here for feedback before wednesday, i look forward to your work
thank you
carolina