overall i like how you have composed some of the shots and how the characters navigate through space, it feels like a documentary on 'another' culture, but i think what can make this stronger is if you situate this footage in a context that incorporates you into the picture, to enhance what your argument is for using this footage as your 'other'
what is the voice over by the camera at the beginning? sounds like a parallel story aside form the image, a commentary on action: maybe this is something you can exploit further, by adding new sound? or Voice Over that speaks in antagonism to what we see? (VO can be done in different ways, i don;t mean narration per se, that can be too didactic, but perhaps soundscapes playing on what is already there, the whisper we hear by the camera.
i like how you composed some of the shots with the heads cut off, and your use of space.
furthering on the comment above; what would help is if we get a POV on what's going on (aside from the apparent construction) how and why is this relevant to you? this may be related to the sound / vo comment above; now it is clear 'you' are shooting 'them', your role is that of the "observer" but it woul be more compelling if there's an additional element that reflects you, think "the observer is the observed" how can this be incorporated into your piece? the fact that what you are seeing reflects you and triggers thought
the last scenes where it goes silent seem a bit off now, maybe because its too abrupt? or there is no set context as to why it would go silent at that particular point. silence is very powerful and I think this can be better informed or situated by your "voice" (however you decide to incorporate that)
note: you may want to lower the exposure (in AE) to create more contrast in the image
hi hal, is this your footage? it has a nice use of space
ReplyDeleteYes, it's footage from Turkey. It is my rough draft of assignment 2. I would appreciate any feedback you have. Tanks! Han
ReplyDeleteoverall i like how you have composed some of the shots and how the characters navigate through space, it feels like a documentary on 'another' culture, but i think what can make this stronger is if you situate this footage in a context that incorporates you into the picture, to enhance what your argument is for using this footage as your 'other'
ReplyDeletewhat is the voice over by the camera at the beginning? sounds like a parallel story aside form the image, a commentary on action: maybe this is something you can exploit further, by adding new sound? or Voice Over that speaks in antagonism to what we see? (VO can be done in different ways, i don;t mean narration per se, that can be too didactic, but perhaps soundscapes playing on what is already there, the whisper we hear by the camera.
i like how you composed some of the shots with the heads cut off, and your use of space.
furthering on the comment above; what would help is if we get a POV on what's going on (aside from the apparent construction) how and why is this relevant to you?
this may be related to the sound / vo comment above;
now it is clear 'you' are shooting 'them', your role is that of the "observer" but it woul be more compelling if there's an additional element that reflects you,
think "the observer is the observed" how can this be incorporated into your piece? the fact that what you are seeing reflects you and triggers thought
the last scenes where it goes silent seem a bit off now, maybe because its too abrupt? or there is no set context as to why it would go silent at that particular point.
silence is very powerful and I think this can be better informed or situated by your "voice" (however you decide to incorporate that)
note: you may want to lower the exposure (in AE) to create more contrast in the image
questions, let me know
thank you hal
c